Al, Author at Albert Lea Tribune

Columnists

Al Batt: The music drowned out the sounds of many clarinets

Tales from Exit 22, by Al Batt “You live in the middle of nowhere.” The visitor who said that was from a big city. That ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, August 4, 2020 9:03 pm

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Al Batt: Rummaging around the last place I’d ever look for item

I rummaged around. It’s life on the planet Batt. I wasn’t chewing on life’s gristle or on a quest. I wasn’t looking for the truth. I wasn’t ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, July 28, 2020 8:12 pm

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Al Batt: He’s still using rabbit ears

Once upon a time, long before “The Andy Griffith Show” went into reruns, there was an eastern cottontail with a dream. He had a name, but ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, July 21, 2020 8:11 pm

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Al Batt: We can’t help it; eating is simply just in our DNA

I spit sunflower seeds for distance. It was a contest. I did OK. I’d have done better, but it had been a dry year. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, July 14, 2020 8:16 pm

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Al Batt: The attack of the fine fescue

“I want to sit up front with the adults!” I said that aloud while pushing a lawn mower this week. It didn’t matter. Nobody could hear ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, July 7, 2020 8:10 pm

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Al Batt: It’s summertime and I hear that the living is uneasy

Stay near the flyswatter. It’s summer. When is it truly summer? When there is no sign of winter anywhere. It’s a beautiful summer day here at the ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, June 30, 2020 8:11 pm

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Al Batt: Some call her poor Mrs. Batt

“Nothing!” I’d asked a friend what he’d gotten his wife for Mother’s Day. “She’s not my mother,” he added as an explanation. If his words had ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, June 23, 2020 8:11 pm

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Al Batt: I was his favorite youngest child and memories of Dad

Even when I didn’t want him to be. My father was there for me. He believed I’d go a long way and gave me a used suitcase ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, June 16, 2020 8:10 pm

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Al Batt: Having no fair seems unfair

I was dead set against going. But now I want to go. The drive is a hassle. I don’t eat enough deep-fried things on a stick to ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, June 9, 2020 8:25 pm

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Al Batt: It’s my good luck to have had a life full of good potlucks

My mirror reflects poorly on me. It’s showing the image from my driver’s license. The looking-glass gets worse every day. It magnifies the pillow tracks on the ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, June 2, 2020 8:17 pm

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Al Batt: Put a zip in your code with a forever stamp on your letter

She said she’d had a dream about me. “Oh, oh,” was the thought that came galloping into my mind. I heard menacing drums coming from the ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, May 26, 2020 8:19 pm

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Al Batt: What to do if you encounter Yogi the bear and his buddies

I swam with snapping turtles. I was only slightly smarter than a bag of hammers (I didn’t know oregano from Oregon) and I wasn’t the best ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, May 19, 2020 8:27 pm

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Al Batt: ‘I got too much sleep,’ said no one ever in their right mind

I got out of bed and tripped over a toenail clipping. That put a bruise on the morning’s sweetness. Note to self: Do not clip toenails in ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, May 12, 2020 8:26 pm

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Al Batt: I wish I would have chosen to hug my mother more often

I wish I’d have hugged my mother more. I’m a hugger, but I didn’t grow up in a family prone to hugging. Hugging was saved for ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, May 5, 2020 8:26 pm

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Al Batt: Whiskers, beards and how to get through a pandemic

What the blue blazes am I doing? I tried to maintain eye contact with shaggy men from outside my zip code who didn’t look like themselves. Our ... Read more